Hi, I’m a golden eagle. I am as big as a small cow. Look at my face. Just look at it. I know it’s horrible and beautiful at the same time. But that’s the problem with birds. You want us to be affectionate like on Sesame Street, but we’re actually the vermin of the sky. If we didn’t have skin or feathers we’d look like giant insects. We’re kind of like cats, but worse. What is going behind those cold, black eyes? You can trust a dog. Maybe a cat. But not a bird. If you had me from a baby and stroked me every day, would I grow up to like you? No. Look at my feet for fuck’s sake. And yes, I have seen Uncle Sam’s wiener.
Golden eagle rapes goat ↓